Vincent is becoming more alert during the day and sleeping for up to 4 hours at a time at night. That extra hour is wonderful! But he likes to stay awake for about 2 hours in the middle of the night. He likes to walk around, slow dance, and rock with me, and even though it's hard to keep my own eyes open, it is an incredibly special time for us. I'm not sure there has been a day or night that has gone by that I haven't looked into my little boy's eyes and thanked God for His gift to us. I look at Vincent's sweet face as I try to sing lullabies (what am I supposed to buy if that diamond ring don't shine?) and tears roll down my cheeks. I cry all the time over how beautiful and perfect he is. I cry because I am just so overjoyed, it's almost like I can't contain all the love I feel for him. I cry because for so long I never thought I'd hold a baby of our own, and here he is! I cry because we have been so blessed. I cry because I want to remember each moment and I can't. I want time to stand still and it won't.
And then, watching Anthony with him is so fun, too. I have to tell you how impressed I am with how quickly Anthony slid right into fatherhood. He holds, bounces, sways, soothes, feeds, and changes Vince without hesitation-and there isn't a poopy diaper that he tries to pass off on me. What a guy! He says Vincent is so cool, and even though he sounds like such a "dude," he sums Vincent up perfectly!
I miss my big belly, I miss how little Vincent was a month ago, and I wish I could remember that time better. I thought I would never forget, but I did, and that makes me sad. During those 2 am rock-a-thons I think of all these poetic ways to journal my feelings, and then, well, the moment passes and the words slip out of my memory. Maybe Vincent hears me though, perhaps he understands. I hope he feels how much he is loved.